Being consistent is also based on your capacity. I don’t know if you noticed. You probably didn’t, but I missed a week there. Things were happening in my life, so this podcast was at the bottom of the list. But here I am still showing up because I have something important to say.
But before we get to that important topic, letting you know quickly that this is actually the last episode before I go on summer hiatus. So July and August, I’ll be away and I’ll be back in September talking a lot more about this particular topic, being vulnerable. Specifically today, we’re talking about being vulnerable through laughter. But we’ll get into other aspects of being vulnerable behind the mic in the fall.
So laughter was a topic that’s been on my podcast workflow for a while now, and I was trying to figure out when would be a good time to talk about this topic, about laughing wholeheartedly, laughing like being, Oh my gosh, I’m going to laugh so big, so loud. That is truly who I am and fully embracing that.
Years ago, I had a client who got a bit of feedback and now this feedback could be a whole episode on its own as well, which I will talk about in the future. But the main thing she got from her feedback was, “Your giggles are annoying.” Devastating, right? If you read that in a review or maybe heard that in person, I don’t know, would anybody ever say that to your face? Probably not. This truly is the digital age where people can just type what they want, hit send, and not think about it. Comments like that are not new. Back when I worked in radio, some of the female announcers got sort of the same criticism. A critique of a woman’s voice. What I ended up saying to my client was that it’s negative feedback. They are just trying to control your voice because:
(A) you’re a woman
(B) they feel like they have the power to do so, and
(C) that’s not what they think a powerful or authoritative voice sounds like.
Well, obviously they are wrong because a voice can sound so vast, wide-ranging and different and still sound powerful and authoritative. That’s another topic for another day.
Specifically, I wanted to talk about laughing out loud, whatever that means to you. If you normally just giggle all the time and just have little giggles, like my client did, that’s fine. Her podcast would range in all sorts of topics from light-hearted to very serious ones, and sometimes she would giggle throughout those topics. And you know what? That is perfectly fine because that is you and your personality. You’re not giggling to make fun or light of the subject. You aren’t giggling because you’re flighty. No, you are giggling because that is who you are. And having a sense of humour and laughter is a proven way to get through hard times. So even in serious topics for a podcast, laughter can bring out the humanness and make an awkward conversation lighter, when the situation fits. And the reason why today this topic really rings true to me is because, when I was growing up, being in a family of an immigrant household, I was told to be the “good Chinese girl”. And so laughing out loud was not a good idea. In fact, I got yelled at for being a kid laughing and goofing around, and it brought up memories for me, triggering memories because my dad had passed away a couple of weeks ago from this recording. It had me thinking back to all the times that I spent with my dad. And one of those memories was him telling me to be quiet when I was laughing. And when you hear that as a child, that imprints on you. As a kid, you didn’t know it at the time, but then you grow up with this unconscious thought that, ooh, when I react to things, maybe I shouldn’t laugh too loud, not too big. You don’t want to sound shrill or be too in someone’s face with my laughter. That doesn’t sound good, does it? How can you be your true self if you’re not fully in the moment? That means laughing out loud. That means giggling when you need to. So what do you feel about your laugh?
Today, I tend to use laughter quite a bit. One of my values is to have fun. Have fun doing what you’re doing. Have fun podcasting. Have fun using your voice. Giggling and laughing are part of what I do. I remember this one time I had an older Japanese international student staying with me, and she was sharing with me how she thought she wasn’t being heard. And I was like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that’s not it. I think there’s a cultural difference here, and I had a bigger smile on my face, and I guess the slight giggle was me trying to lighten the situation. And I can’t remember exactly what I said at this point. But then she said to me, Why are you laughing? I was like, Oh, I had no idea I was doing that. That just came naturally to me. So now it perked up my awareness. Why do I laugh? Why did I laugh? One, probably because I was always told to be quiet and not laugh as a kid, so I do it a lot now to overcompensate, but also to create a sense of lightness in that conversation. Like, no, I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing at how silly I was being like, Oh my gosh, I cannot believe that’s how the situation got interpreted by what I was trying to say. Oh, no, I’ve got to change this. And the giggle just naturally comes out of me. And so when I explained it wasn’t laughing at her. I was just laughing at the situation that I created, she understood, and I loved having that space to open up that conversation and for her to call me out on it. Because now I realize, whenever I do laugh, to share why I’m doing that. So I dare you to talk it through. Laughter plays an important role. It is huge for your podcast. How can you truly be yourself if you wanted to restrict your laugh? Don’t let anyone else walk all over you and restrict your laughter. It is a part of who you are.
I’m going to touch back a bit on grief here. Thinking back too, because of my family situation with my dad passing and earlier this year my mother in law passing as well, I had a lot of grief in 2022. It’s been a rough year. So what’s a Podcaster to do but to seek out podcasts about grief and wow, podcasts really are a place to connect, to hear how others are grieving and how it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not want to cry. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to not want to laugh. And you know what? Yeah, it is okay if you also want to laugh. I wanted to connect, and in those conversations, they brought up such lightness that made me smile and laugh again. And that’s on a podcast about grief. It might not sound like they’re meant to be together, but yeah, you can use laughter in serious situations. With my mother in law’s family, they have a huge sense of humour. I’ve always known them to have laughter, to be joking around and have a smile on their face, which was very different – not right or wrong – but very different from my family when we had my dad’s passing. And as I said before, laughter is a proven way to get through hard times. I think that’s what really stood out to me during my year of grief. (My gosh, the year’s not even over. It is July as I’m creating this. I’m only halfway through the year.) It’s not good or bad, but for me, having that sense of humour and laughter helps me connect with people and to connect with my emotions, to go through a very difficult period in my life.
So if you’ve ever had someone tell you that you’re laughing too loud or that you’re trying to hide your mouth when you smile and laugh, or you think you giggle too much, you’re not. Someone out there is listening and loving your laugh, loving your giggles, because that is an emotion. And that is how people connect, is through emotions. When you can express yourself with a laugh or a giggle, I give you full permission to do so because you are going to make someone’s day. You are going to have someone smile ear to ear or do a full-out LOL – a laugh out loud – to themselves when they’re listening to you on your podcast with their headphones on.
So to end off, a quick mic technique for you. Now that you are aware of laughing, laughing in front of a microphone is definitely not the same as laughing when you’re talking to somebody in person. When you laugh in front of a microphone and you don’t back off, there’s too much volume going into the mic and it can sound all crackly. And sometimes in the industry, it’s called too hot or over-modulated. It’s that crackling sound and that’s not what you want. So when you do laugh, just back away from the microphone, back up a little bit. And when you’re done laughing, come back in. So, mic technique is very important when you’re laughing. It does take practice. People don’t automatically back away when they start laughing, but you do after a while. So when you’re podcasting, be aware of the laughter and back off from the microphone when you are laughing. And when you think about it, it’s kind of natural when people are fully laughing and using their full body to express themselves, your head goes back, your chest is wide open and your laughter is pointing up. So, up and away from the microphone. I hope that helps.
So feel how you’re feeling and not feel like you need to repress yourself because we feel it might not be palatable to some audiences. No, don’t do that. When we can embrace the current feeling that you are in, the more confidence you will have in your voice. So with that, I leave you with a bunch of giggles from my daughter because who doesn’t love to hear the sound of a laughing child who will bring a big smile to your face? (You’ll have to listen to the podcast to get this part of the post. Go ahead – scroll back up to the top and click the play button on the purple podcast player! Have a laugh and enjoy!)
As a reminder, I will be away for the summer months, July and August, and I will be back with you in September to talk more about vulnerability. So if you have any questions about vulnerability and how to come alive with your voice, send me a voicemail. Yup, that is a dare. How do you be more vulnerable with your voice? Send me a voicemail. Use your voice. Ask me that question. There is the purple Send Voicemail button here on this site. Click on that from your phone and you can send me a voicemail just like that.
Easier to email? Not a problem, visiblevoicepodcast@gmail.com is where you can find me.
Have a great break and I’ll chat with you in September.
