How does your inner voice affect how you show up behind the mic?

Everyone has that Inner Voice—you know, the one that pipes up now and then to say you aren’t worthy enough, your ideas aren’t worthy enough, to share with the world or on your podcast. Mary has had her own struggle with that negative dialogue, and, to this day, it can sneak in to cast uncertainty on this very podcast. The good news is the process for shifting that inner voice into positive energy, the kind that will fuel your podcasting endeavours, can start right now!

We’re going to get emotional as we dive into:

  • Why it’s so important to make time for reflecting on your podcast
  • How to accept the inner voice that questions our worthiness and transform its message
  • What solo episodes can offer your listener and why they’re so important
  • A few tools for digging deeper into recognizing your worth

Links worth exploring from the episode:

Connect with Mary!

Podcast cover art by Emily Johnston of Artio Design Co.

Transcript with audio description:

[MUSIC IN // INTRO]

<< Ghosthood Featuring Sara Azriel “Let’s Go” BEGINS >>

MARY: Welcome to the Podcaster’s Guide to a Visible Voice.

<< WOMAN SINGS: Let’s go >>

MARY: Reveal and define your voice to speak your truth through the power of podcasting. And I’m your host, Mary Chan.

<< WOMAN SINGS: So so so so let’s go >>

MARY: Hey, welcome back! This is episode number 65, Healing Wounds. You are worthy of being a podcaster. 

[INTRO MUSIC FADES // NEW MUSIC IN]

Well, welcome back. So good to be back as well after my little summer break that I take yearly. And, if you heard on the last episode, yes, we went to Disneyland. Yes, it was loads of fun. And yes, we met all the Star Wars characters that we were hoping for. My gosh, it’s amazing to see how people are so in character when they’re in their costumes playing, uh, the cast members and you know, R2D2, you know like, Chewbacca. Whoever is in that costume in 35 degree heat, that is dedication. But my daughter loved it. She loved that she met Chewbacca. And, you know, it takes a lot to actually be one of those cast members at Disneyland because you have to embody that character and know all of their ins and outs and why they’re doing the things they’re doing when they are out in public in costume. 

[MUSIC OUT] 

And this relates to podcasting because, like in podcasting, your journey is never ending. You have to embody as the host or being a guest, you have to embody this role and really hone in on the message that you are sharing. And as you create each and every episode, you learn more and more about the process, about your message, what you want to say, and especially about yourself. And even if you’ve been podcasting for a while, you know, whether it’s a few months or even a few years, however many episodes you have published or yet to publish, there’s always that inner voice. Am I good enough? Will my conversations and interviews be exciting? Will people care about it? Or even what? I have to say? That internal struggle is real. We all have it. However, what if we flipped that notion that it’s not a struggle, it’s actually a path for learning? What can you learn from your podcasting journey so far? Like I said, whether you have had episodes published or you just have the seed planted, the idea of wanting to start that podcast, your journey is unique, and it deserves time for thought and reflection. Now, without this very specific intention, a podcast won’t be the success that you want it to be. Whatever that definition of success is for you, it won’t happen unless you actually take time to think about your why and set yourself up for getting behind that microphone. So let’s get a little comfy behind the mic. 

[MUSIC IN]

What inner dialogue have you been having with yourself and what can we do to shift that into some positive energy? So, like I said, we’re going to get comfy here. I’m going to take you through a little quick process that I’ve taken myself through, and I’ve asked other podcasters from time to time, so I’m not going to lie. We might get a little emotional here. Some people do. And I’ve always been one myself to hide these emotions. Like, no, I’m strong. I don’t need to cry. But if you feel that coming on, if you feel the emotions piling up, that is okay. Alright? So, I just want you to know that when you are listening to this, give yourself some space. If you need to hit pause, hit pause, so that you can find yourself some privacy. You can close your eyes if you need to. Take some deep breaths, and we’ll get into it. 

[MUSIC ENDS]

So, you know, sit down, close your eyes if you need to, and let’s think back. Think back to the first time that someone said something to you about your worthiness. When was that? How old were you? Where were you? What was that situation? What was said? And how did it make you feel? You know, thinking about that now, you could also be seeing yourself going through that situation. You’re watching yourself experience that moment all over again. Now, for me, it was actually hearing my dad literally saying to us, you are useless. Now, we spoke Cantonese in our house, so I just keep hearing the phrase, mo yung 無用. No use. Useless. He said it many, many times in various situations. Whether it was helping him out at dinner, you’re doing something physical, he’s like, oh, you can’t even do that. You’re useless. You’re mo yung 無用. Or maybe it’s my mental state, not smart enough in school, so I’m going to be useless in the future. So, no matter what situation that was, whether it was a physical or a mental well being, I was told I was useless, that I wasn’t worthy. I felt small, and I was always the smallest person in my class. So I felt really small. And it made me feel like I had these really huge standards to live up to. That almost like my ultimate goal was to please my dad with what I could do. But that whatever it was I did, it still wasn’t good enough for him. 

So, that perfectionism started there for me. To make my dad feel proud of me and happy, almost actually, like, as a kid, it was my job to make him happy. Or maybe actually the opposite, that I was the one that made him upset. So then in turn, that made me upset and I was not worthy of his love, essentially. You know, that had a huge impact on me, in that moment, at that time, as a little girl, didn’t realize. But even today, now that I am aware of it, it still circles around in my current thoughts. So as a podcaster, I too, have those moments of, you know, maybe preparing for this next series that I was doing over the summer and thinking, oh, is this episode even important? I’d come up with ideas and then scrap it, or I’d write out a sentence and then was like, no, I’d move on to another idea because I didn’t think that my thoughts and ideas were worthy enough to make these grand ideas into an episode, because my thoughts would then be published on the internet for everybody to hear. Yeah, no, my idea was not worth it. And so I hit delete. That inner voice beats up the outer voice that I actually want to happen, and that inner voice wins. And I stay silent. And so I realize the brain wins out over the heart, yet again sometimes. But as I go through this, I think to myself, what would it look like if the heart wins out? If you are worthy of being a podcaster, how would you act behind the mic? How would you prepare for your episodes? 

So, this is something that I’ve practiced before I’ve run through this, and when these fraudy feelings, this inner critic, comes up, I reframe it, and I go through this process usually very quickly. Again, I’m like, right. I remind myself that’s something that happened to me when I was a child, and it is not something I need now. And it’s still something that I practice and go through today. But it wasn’t until actually, earlier this year, a book I read called Origins of You. It was released at the beginning of the year, written by Vienna Pharaon. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in New York. And I actually first learned about her work through podcasting. She was a guest on one of my client’s shows, and I was so intrigued by, uh, what she was saying in her book and her work. And I’ve been doing a lot of inner work in the past couple of years, so I was really happy that my local library had an audiobook version. And so, I got to listen to her book. And she actually has a whole chapter on Worthiness, and she even has a practice that she takes you on that’s even deeper than what I started here. Like, I am just cracking the surface on this one. So if you want to go deeper into this worthiness aspect, I highly recommend you check out her book, Origins of You by Vienna Pharaon. And I will definitely link that in the show notes. 

[MUSIC IN]

I think it’s so important that we look into our inner selves to really figure out how we now present ourselves and how we are behind the microphone. And that’s something that I do with the podcasters that I work with. It is the reframe. And one of those reframes is actually working on solo episodes. It’s something that I’ve seen time and time again with a lot of my podcasting clients. It’s the common challenge are those solo episodes. It’s a heavier lift because you are coming up with all the content. You’re outlining the whole episode for you to speak on and figuring out all the details, doing the research. It’s a tall order. It’s simpler to have that conversation. Right? You invite the guest, you come up with the questions, and you let the guest bring on their expertise. But when you are in the spotlight of doing those solo episodes, you are the expertise. Then that part might get into your head. 

So the reframe is not, what can you bring to the table for your solo episodes, but, what does your ideal listener need to know? How can you serve them in their struggle and challenge? Would you be able to focus your solo episodes on either solving their challenge, or can you bring in your own shared experience of the situation? So that the listener can feel less alone? They’re swirling around in their heads about these thoughts, but you are with them alongside, sharing your experience, making their world just a little bit bigger. Solo episodes can be so impactful. And yes, you are worthy of this platform to share your thoughts. Your message is important, and it can only be heard in its full emotional impact when you say it out loud with your literal voice. So stumble along the way. Work out your thoughts in real time on the episode. I mean, that’s why we have editing, right? We can edit out those, ah, that’s not what I was meant to say moments. But say it out loud because you are worthy. What you heard before about your first time being unworthy doesn’t support you in what you are doing today. Today, you are a full grown human with many experiences and knowledge that others need to know about. So share your voice. You’ve got it. And I’m here for you as well. 

[MUSIC ENDS]

So what are you shifting about yourself today? Let me know your AHA moment. What was it? You can leave me a voice note. Yes, share your voice. You can do that through my website. There is a voicemail button at visiblevoicepodcast.com or email is always great too. I know we’re attached to our phones, so that voicemail is quick, but an email is great too. That’s visiblevoicepodcast@gmail.com and you know what? Maybe you just want more support from me. Okay. Whether you’re launching your own show, I’ve got you step by step along the way. Or if you need an audit of your show or management for your podcast, like editing and all that stuff, that happens to make a podcast episode come to life. If you’ve got an existing show and you want to grow it, I’ve got you too. So let’s chat so we can amplify your voice because you are worthy to be behind the mic. I’ll chat with you next time.

[MUSIC ENDS // PAUSE A BEAT // OUTRO – SHOW CLOSE]

<< Ghosthood Featuring Sara Azriel “Let’s Go” BEGINS >>

MARY: Thank you so much for listening to the Podcaster’s Guide to a Visible Voice. If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love it if you shared it with a podcasting friend. And to reveal more voicing and podcasting tips, click on over to visiblevoicepodcast.com.

<< WOMAN SINGS: Let’s go >>

[MUSIC ENDS]