As humans, we are people pleasers. We want connection, community, and a feeling of belonging. As young kids, we do things to please our parents, our teachers, and friends. Then as adults, we want to fulfill the needs of our bosses, partners (romantic or otherwise), and so on. 

Podcasting can have that same reflection. We want to delight our listeners, teach or entertain them with our thoughts and stories. But when you think about how you feel and how you may sound, all of those feelings impact your listeners and how they feel. It’s not about you. It is about them. So let’s get into that feeling.

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Transcript with audio description:

[MUSIC IN // INTRO]

<< Ghosthood Featuring Sara Azriel “Let’s Go” BEGINS >>

MARY: Welcome to the Podcaster’s Guide to a Visible Voice.

<< WOMAN SINGS: Let’s go >>

MARY: Reveal and define your voice to speak your truth through the power of podcasting. And I’m your host, Mary Chan.

<< WOMAN SINGS: So so so so let’s go >>

MARY: Hello and welcome. This is episode number 50! Believe it or not, woo! Number 50. Stop Thinking About Yourself. 

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As humans, we are people pleasers. We want connection, community and a feeling of belonging. So even as young kids, we do things to please our parents, our teachers and friends. And then as adults, we please our bosses, our partners, romantic or otherwise, clients, customers, and so on. And when it comes to podcasting, that is no different. Podcasting can have that same reflection. We want to please our listeners, teach or entertain them with our thoughts and stories. So when we’re behind the mic, we think about what they want. But have you ever thought about what you want? 

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I’m sure a lot of podcasters have, actually – “Oh, I need to create content. I want to share about this. This is the topic we need to talk about. I’ve heard that this is what people want to hear.” But it really isn’t about you. When you’re behind the mic to make that connection, it’s about what the listener is perceiving about you through your voice. So as the title of this episode says, Stop Thinking About Yourself, when you focus on you and what you are doing or saying, you’re losing that connection. When you think about how you feel and how you may sound like and what you might be saying, all of those feelings impact your listeners and how they feel.

[MUSIC IN]

But yes, like I said, it is easy, very, very easy to think about what you need. As a podcaster, you are the host, after all. It kind of is about you. The show revolves around you, your ideas. You are the creator. You come up with the content. You think of who to interview. All of that. So when you sit down behind the mic, it is so easy to automatically think, okay, what am I supposed to do? Or what am I supposed to say? So let’s get around that thought first. Throw out the fact that you are this host. You know how I sometimes say you put on this, your podcast host hat and then sometimes you’ll put on the podcast editor hat or the graphic designer hat or marketing hat. You got to play all those roles when you have a podcast. But with that idea of, Okay, let’s put on the host hat, you might also put on that host voice, this omnipresent person who is here to share wise words with your listeners. You get too much into your head, and that can lead to the idea of having to get it right. “Ooh, I’m the host. I’m supposed to know it all. I’m supposed to be sharing all of these ideas and stories.” But think about that. You don’t have to be the one with all the answers. 

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Another reason why having a podcast is great is because you can bring on guests to fill in the spaces that you don’t have the answer to. You get to be the host to ask these questions because the idea of having it right all the time is an old societal way of thinking, colonial ways to hold women back so that this way of thinking, of being right or wrong, makes you think about what you were actually doing wrong all the time. But you know what? What if we tweaked that? What if it is actually right to do it wrong in the first place? Before anyone can be well on their way and know what they’re talking about, they do have to stumble along the way and it’s through that stumbling that you gain experience on this podcasting journey. You have to do things wrong in the first place before we can ever get it right. But okay, let’s get back to the topic at hand. [LAUGHS] Stop thinking about yourself. Look at that. We’re talking about all of this stuff and we’re cycling back and to “oh, but me, but me, me! The podcast host, the one behind the microphone.” [LAUGHS] No, podcasting is not about what you are doing. It’s not about what you are saying, even. It is about what your listener will feel. It’s not about you. It is about them. So let’s get into that feeling. 

[MUSIC IN]

When you are present behind the mic. Your feelings will empower your voice to be heard. However, not focusing on your feelings, focusing on your listeners feelings because that will power your own feelings. So here’s an example. So when you’re behind the mic and you get nervous, you feel that nervous and you plug into that nervous energy. Your voice will also have that nervous energy, and your listener will then pick up on that nervousness, and they may embody that as well. However, if you think about the listener first, what is it that you want them to feel and embody in the first place? So that is the start of the cycle. If you want them to feel energized, entertained, having fun with enthusiasm, then you can embody those feelings first. If your story is very vulnerable and you’re trying to be more brave and courageous to speak up, your listener will hear that in your voice. 

[MUSIC FADES OUT]

You know, being a podcast editor has many, many great opportunities, including learning while you’re working. [LAUGHS] And so when I am editing or reviewing podcast episodes, I am learning at the same time. And there was this amazing guest that I was introduced to called Dr. Thema Bryant. She is a psychologist and author of Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self. What she said in that episode with Dr. Alexandra Solomon on Reimagining Love was, “Take the judgement off that you are unworthy.” Oh, so powerful for podcasters as well, because it can be terrifying to say something and have it recorded and then out, published into the world where everyone can hear it. There is fear on that and we can circle in our heads about, Is that good enough? Am I good enough? Will anybody care what I’m saying? Will anyone even notice? My gosh, what happens when people do notice? Take the judgment off. And that is really the theme behind Stop Thinking About Yourself. Stop thinking about yourself. The future, what will or will not happen. But when you are centred and grounded in the present, in service of what you are saying, your values, your message, that passion comes through and your listener will feel it. In order to get past the weird feeling of speaking behind the microphone to seemingly no one in the room, especially if you’re doing a solo episode, it’s just you, yourself in the microphone. You need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your listener. That one person you are talking to and think instead of how you want them to feel during this conversation. I know you’re one person in a room behind a microphone, but it still is a dialogue. What would you like them to embody when you’re speaking? What’s that fire and passion within you that needs to be heard? What do you notice when you focus on the listener? What are you tuned into? What feelings bubble up to the surface? And from there? What shifts in yourself? Let me know how this episode has shaped you. What does Stop Thinking About Yourself mean to you now? I’d love to hear it. Share your thoughts. Drop me a voicemail. Easy to do from my website. You’ll look for the purple button, Send Voicemail, and easily, from your phone, you can drop me that note. And of course, an email is always welcome, of course – visiblevoicepodcast@gmail.com. Send me your reflections, send me your thoughts, and I’d love to hear it. Okay. Short and sweet episode. So until next time, speak with spirit.

[MUSIC ENDS // PAUSE A BEAT // OUTRO – SHOW CLOSE]

<< Ghosthood Featuring Sara Azriel “Let’s Go” BEGINS >>

MARY: Thank you so much for listening to the Podcaster’s Guide to a Visible Voice. If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love it if you shared it with a podcasting friend. And to reveal more voicing and podcasting tips, click on over to visiblevoicepodcast.com.

<< WOMAN SINGS: Let’s go >>

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